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Blogging R.I.P

2006-07-03T20:22:00.000Z

well, for anyone who is stilling occasionally passing through this blog, I just want to mark the end of not only this blog, but blogging in general. yes, there are those who battle on and continue the fight, but for the majority of us, we just cant be bothered. yes, the dream is over. But let us not morn, but celebrate the joys blogging brought us:

1.Leaving rude anonymous comments on people's blogs you dont know
2.Skimming over someones ridiculously long post and then picking keywords in order to comment
3.That quaker oats guy, whoever he was. that zorro-like rogue.
4.The joy of finding you are a link on someone elses blog (and the horror that youve been removed)
5.Debt consolitation posts- those guys really care

yes, its really the end. now lets all join in on the myspace craze!

Ho Ho Ho kids!

2005-12-14T15:03:00.000Z

Sorry, 'the man' still won't allow images on my blog... I think I'll stick it to him shortly.

So, we all know this is a season for good-will and festive holiday cheer, but isn't also a time for horror movies? That's right, why hasn't there been a horror Christmas movie yet? It would be perfect- a sinister Santa! The tagline could be 'he sees you when your sleeping, he knows when your awake' , and kids are desperately trying not to do anything wrong in case this horror santa comes after them. If they find a lump of coal on their bed, they know Santa is coming for them. He could have evil reindeer, or could leave creepy toys for kids as well!

Because, after all, isn't Santa secretly evil? He's trying to take Christmas away from Jesus, was invented by the Coca Cola corporation, and his name is even an anogram for Satan! Forget Narnia, why not take your kids to see 'Santa Claws is coming to town'! It'll traumatise them for life, but, hey, then you won't have to fork out for presents for them, and the kids will be good all year!

Croeso a Cymru!

2005-11-25T12:57:00.000Z

Sorry about the delay with my posting... my blog won't allow me to upload images, so those pictures of JFK's real killer will have to go back in my attic.

Anyway, for all you out there who may not know all too much about the little country of Wales, help is at hand. Did you know that America was actually named after a Welshman, Mr. Americ? Yup. And here are a few Welsh people you might have heard of: Anthiny Hopkins, Catherine Zeta Jones (making Zorro a Welsh film), Christian Bale (that's right, batman is Welsh), the stereophonics, uh, Martin Luther King Jr... Abraham Lincoln... Captian Planet... JCDC... Wales is the true Hollywood!

If you want to find out more about Wales, why don't you tune into to CSI: Wales, where this week detective Di Jones is trying to solve the murder of one of farmer Lleywellyn's sheep... it's a two part episode! Or visit the official Wales website at www.bestcountryintheworld.com/betterthantheUS. I've finally realised why my blog won't upload my picture of wales... its far too big to fit on a blog post!

introducing JCDC!!

2005-10-23T16:48:00.000Z

Well firstly, I cannot believe people out there actually denied the existance of such an amazing musical group! To prove to you that they are real and rocking, here is a picture of their forthcoming album. See? I told you they were the awesomest! Allow me to introduce them: there's Brent on drums (far left). He's the crazy (for Jesus) one. Then there's Brad on Bass (left). He's the clever one (He's actually read a christian book that wasn't written by DC Talk). Then there's Jed (middle) on lead vocals and guitar. He's the good looking one (the bible is his mirror). Next its John 'the Fonz' Baxton on guitar. He's the cool one (can't you tell by his super-trendy sunglasses and hands in levi-jean pockets?). And finally, Chad on keyboard (far right). He's actually quite dull, but he knows the chords to 'beautiful one' so he's in.

And now, to leave you with some more lyrics from the song 'shebrews'

I thought I saw her pause,
She didn't know where Micah was,
But you know it was all cool,
Girl, I've been to Bible school,
So guys go to Bible College,
Where you'll get lots of Bible Knowlege,
And lots of super tricks,
On how to pick up chicks

It's stuck in my head already!!! Have any of your favourite JCDC lyrics? why don't you post a quote!

Living rock 'n' roll!

2005-10-20T15:42:00.000Z

hmm... Christian rock... there's the good, the bad and the ugly. You may remember a post a while back concerned with the lack of really decent Christian rock bands. Well, your prayers have been answered!!! One has arrived... a Chrstian punk rock band by the name of 'JCDC' (which, of course, stands for Jesus Christ Da Coolest). Their first album 'there's a party in my bible and everyones invited' , and yes, it is the awesomest!! Here are a few lyrics to one song, 'my biblical romance':

I like my girlfriend but not as much as Jesus,
He saved my soul, but she gives me squeezes,
We walk to youth group and I hold her hand,
She likes me cause I'm in the worship band

then of course, there's the bridge, 'Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, our love will go on and on!',
and part of the verse their other song 'shebrews', goes something like this:

you put the 'o' in obediah,
the 'my' in jeremiah,
girl, you rev my revelation,
I could be your new translation

more JCDC news and updates to follow! Rock on!

Guess Who?

2005-10-09T12:22:00.000Z

So, as you browse through the pictures of the new Bible students on Roger Aubrey's blog, you may be asking yourself,"where have I seen that dude before?". Well here first I will put your mind at ease... Seriously, its like I'm at the oscars when I walk into the school.

Oh, middle earth...!

2005-10-04T13:19:00.000Z

Now, on my last entirely legitamate post, I was shockingly accused of digitally altering pictures!! I know, terrible! Well, a certain Canadian who shall remain nameless (lets just call him Bosh Jest) requested proof against this shameful accusation, so I quickly whipped out my GAP photo album, and came across this picture from Canada. And to all those racists out there who claim all Canadians look like hobbits, your very wrong... there's matt, who looks like an elf.

I say, eh?

2005-09-27T19:27:00.000Z

So all you Canadians out there are probably wondering how Cam is doing over here in GREAT Britain (hay, can I help it if that's our country's name?). Well here is a recent photograph of him just hanging around the house in his pyjamas. He insists on stirring his tea with his British flag, and now only answers to the name Sir Camerone of Edington. He's even resorted to throwing away his toothbrush (we all wondered what that long piece of plastic he rubbed in his mouth was called), and putting HP sauce on everything. Sorry Canada... he's ours now.

OH! STALE!

2005-09-16T16:27:00.000Z

Sorry I've been gone for so long, but I've been studying soooooo hard, that I no longer have time for petty things of this world such as blogs. Well, maybe a bit. Now, I wouldn't be a true Bible student unless I posted painfully stale and cheesy Bible jokes on this blog. WARNING: I advise you to to wear industrial gloves bofore reading the rest of this post lest you lose a segment of your hand through all the fist biting that will inevitably take place:

Which book in the Bible has the most milk stains on it? Spillipians

What was the name of Moses' dog? Rexodus

Which Old testament character was a huge George Michael fan? Abrawham

Who was the stickiest of all the disciples? Gluedus

Which King co-piloted the milennuem falcon? Han Solomon

Oh, you know you love 'em. Got any more? send them on in... whoever has the worst/best one can... uh... choose who's picture i show on the next post. Wahay!

Anonymous said...

2005-08-27T12:35:00.000Z

Now, if you were to look at the amount of comments I had on my last post, you may feel inclined to say, 'wow, Nathan, you seem to have made a quantitive amount of friends in the past week'. But not so! I am one of the many victims of spam. Excitedly, I eagerly clicked to check my many comments only to find such comments:

At 4:42 PM, Anonymous said…
Your blog is awesome!Debt Consolidation Loans Payday Loans Cash Advance

So, I visited their website, and left them this comment:

'Hay, just wanted to say thank you for the encouragement you gave me, and taking the time to visit my blog. What did you find awesome about it? I'd love your feedback. Keep in touch!'

Oh, and one other anonymous spam message thought my blog was 'neato'. Word of the day, guys.

I lurve the 80s

2005-08-22T15:33:00.000Z

It has come to my attention that my recent comments concerning the 80s were somewhat untrue. And, yes, i did indeed underestimate the power of the 80s era. And so I have decided to begin a poll on what was truly the best decade of all time, as to settle the argument. So please place your vote on your favourite time era with an explanation of why. To help you decide, hear are top fives for each...

1960s
1 space hoppers
2 rat pack
3 JFK
4 rolf harris
5 spiderman

1970s
1 disco
2 darth vader
3 sunglasses for dogs
4 fez?
5 flares

1980s
1 captain planet
2 magret thatcher
3 nintendo
4 david lambert
5 short circuit

1990s
1 pulp fiction
2 toy story
3 street fighter
4 friends
5 wet wet wet

'let our powers combine'

2005-08-12T15:29:00.000Z

Everybody knows that the 80s... were crap. BUT, something good did come out of them... cartoons. that's right. Who can forget such classics as Denver the Dinosaur, Buck O'hare, Pro-stars and the legens of Zelda. So, in order to test your cartoon memory, I have displayed 5 characters all masked by the face of Joseph Goulden. Can you name the character and show they were from? Go on... avago!

Help is on the way, fellas!

2005-08-07T19:04:00.000Z

Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking... what are the top 5 christian chat up lines? Well, here they are:

1. Hay, nice bible... do you pray here often?
2. you're so hot... on fire for God
3. I've just got a word... you, me, friday night
4. I bet your favourite bible verse is Luke 4... coz i've been Luking 4 you all my life
5. Wow... have you been fasting?

And if any of these actually work, I all I ask for is a shout out at the wedding.

PS. Does anyone else think that Johnny Cash sounds like the rooster from Robin Hood?

D.T.V

2005-08-02T11:09:00.000Z

So here's any idea from a Mr. Michael Dugan aka the Duganator... a movie channel that plays the last half hour of 80's action movies.... brilliant! Yup, who needs the boring talking bits, when you can see all the explosions and gun fights which are mostly near the end? Why watch the OK fights in a VanDamme movie, when you can watch the final battle against the big boss? Now i don't need to see Arnolds terrible acting as he finds out his wife has been killed by the aliens.... now I can just watch him put grenades in their mouths as he says something like 'this may be spicy, dirtbag!'
I'm telling you... Dugan TV is the future!

2005-07-29T19:44:00.000Z

So now... a serious post. Bible week was supercool. oh yeah. Tony Ling spoke, as did Steve Ottolini, this guy called Andrew Hughes, and of course Joseph Goulden. And also, one of the songs we sung was 'simply the best' by Tina Turner... seriously... only Tony and Keri changed a few of the words. Make of it what you will. O yeah, and I'm gonna be at school of the word next year... sweeeet!!! Now i just gotta pick up a copy of this book called the bible... looks long.

The sandlot reunion

2005-07-18T21:26:00.000Z

So I'm sure we all remember those pesky yet lovable rugrats in the 1993 movie 'the sandlot'. Oh, who could forget their foiled schemes at retreiving a signed baseball from 'the beast'. But, where are they now...? Well, that very question that has plagued your mind for years is about to be anwered. Tom Guiry, who played Scotty Smalls changed his name to Orlando Bloom and went on to star in such movies as Troy and the Lord of the Rings.
Mike Vitar aka Benjamin Franklin Rodrigez was in the mighty ducks... and.. and thats it. Patrick Renna or ham (why do the fat kids always get a nick name... like ham or chunk or bulk?) gave up acting to discover the cure for nose bleeds. And as for Marty York, or 'yeah-yeah'... well, who do you think is writing this post?
A special thankyou and shout out to Hannah Dugan for the wicked cool picture of Rufio... who by the way is now running a day care center for children with a phobia of cardboard.

The legends

2005-07-15T18:36:00.000Z

I don't know if you've noticed, but every post on this blog features someone who is considered a legend. In case you have had a hard time working out who each one is, and you've been banging your head against the wall in frustration, stop! bang no more! For so far we've had characters such as Gareth from the office, Casey Jones from the ninja turtles, Johnny Cash, Don Vito Corleane and Blanka from Street Figher. And I challenge anyone out there to find a picture of Rufio from Hook... there's none... and he of all people deserves to be honoured. So, of course, this post had to feature the biggest legend of all... that's right, Jim Cavezal. He's just such a darned good actor! But no, I had to give a shout out to my Lord and Saviour... the one and only.

Scary Movies

2005-07-12T16:44:00.000Z

So yesterday I saw the movie Dark Water. Is it just me, or is every scary movie these days exactly the same? They are all based on single mothers (although don't ever mess with a sinlge mum... they're scary enough), and all have creepy kids singing nursery ryhmes really slowly. Why must they ruin everything I love? So this is a message to all you parents out there... please do not teach your kids any more nursery rhymes... there's something about a 5 year old singing 'ring around the rosies' that is just freaky. No, teach them the blandest songs you can think of, like the cha cha slide, or ch-check it out by the beastie boys. Although I did hear a 6 year old singing a Lionel Richie number the other day... couldn't sleep for a week.

How to win an oscar...

2005-07-11T22:07:00.000Z

There is, believe it or not, a solid way of obtaining of one these little golden men... make your self look ugly. That's right. As long as you look like Nicole Kidman, you'll never get recognized, but put a giant nose on the girl, and, hay, she wins an oscar! Same goes for Halle Berry in Monster's Ball (I always thought it wierd how she didn't win one for Catwoman). And as for Charlize Theron... took hours of latex ugly to win her an oscar for monster.
This must be stopped, people. Why not give the guy who played Ben Grim/the thing in the fantastic four an oscar? Or the guy who played Chewbacca? Even cop #3 in Beverhills Cop 2! It's not the character they play, its what they do with the character.

christian rock

2005-07-10T19:40:00.000Z

Just one symbol can be used for this phenomenon... '?'.
Let's just think about the concept shall we? CHRISTIAN ROCK. Sorry if i'm offending anyone out there, but isn't it kind of an oxymoron? Beside all that, the music sucks. So here's the challenge... find me one christian band that doesn't suck, just one, and I will give you a milky way. oh yes. What we really need to ask ourselves is this... WWJLT? What Would Jesus Listen To? Something tells me DCTalk weren't playing on his ipod as he fed the 5000. Fact is, you can wear all the cheesy t-shirts and stale wrist bands, but its what you do and not what you wear that is the real testimony. You know who Jesus would've listened to? Coldplay. Yup. Cause it uplifts and has moralistic lyrics? No, because they're cool.

How you doing?

2005-07-06T13:16:00.000Z

You know what I just realised? Who wants to read about someone elses life of 'so today i ate brocolli' and 'I painted my room brown'? I mean, sure, if you rescue orphans from burning buildings on a daily basis, or your name is James Bond, let's hear it, but otherwise you may as well just watch the Ashley Simpson show or Big Brother.
Beacause at the end of the day, blogs are selfish. It's all me me me. So I leave this post to you. SO, how are you doing?... Did you paint your room brown?... What else have you painted brown? See, bolgs can be used for the good of humanity. This one goes out to everyone who's ever been on my blog... both of you.

Why doesn't tarzan have a beard?

2005-01-04T03:05:00.000Z

I think it's a valid question. How does he manage to shave? Is there Gillette in the jungle? Surely if he wants to look more like an ape a little facial hair would help. He can't cut his long flowing hair with a sharp rock, yet he daily shaves to a silky smooth finish. No beard... so weird.

Make a million dollars on me

2005-01-03T03:41:00.000Z

Want to make a lot of cash?
Steal my new invention (this one's on me).
It's a toothbrush, where the handle contains the toothpaste.
When you squeeze the handle, the toothpaste travels up the neck and onto the bristles...
just another contribution to the laziness of Western culture.